People are neither good nor bad.
It’s a combination of both. If you think otherwise, you’re just naive or lying to yourself. Everybody has their imperfections. Little by little, it gets revealed to us. Not just imperfections, the good side too. But that rarely happens.
All the good will be visible at the beginning itself. Because people are at their best when you meet them for the first time, and they will be on their best behavior initially.
As we get closer and deeper, we start to see the imperfections, the problems, the dark side makes itself visible. Some are ok, some are not and some are just huge red flags that scream get the fuck out as quick as possible.
It’s pretty hard to be with people after you have come to know or realize that they have a dark side also. Now how do you see this person?
Do you see this person as your friend by looking only at the good qualities, or do you abandon this person by looking only at the bad qualities?
How do you decide?
Or you just be indecisive and stay with them just like how you did till now?
But things have changed. Now, this new information has presented itself. It’s been revealed to you. It’s not as same as it was. Some decisions need to be taken. Some changes need to be made.
It’s a time of great uncertainty.
You can’t just throw away years of relationship with this person, also you can’t just live in a delusion thinking all is good and everything is ok.
You must come to terms that this is how people are. This is how we are.
Maybe if we inspect ourselves deep enough, and if we have the courage and modesty to inspect, see, understand, and later accept that we too have flaws, we too have a dark side, we will come to the understanding that everyone, everywhere is like this only. It’s just that we didn’t see it until now.
So what do you do now?
I don’t know what to do other than just let it be. Maybe just have to look at the intensity of the red in the red flags that comes up. Maybe it’s about balance, and setting boundaries.
The funny thing is everyone is like this.
If you think somebody is not like this, it’s because it’s not yet revealed to you. It’s still there. Some people are good at keeping the delusion up for a long long time. Actually, it’s best if it’s revealed as early as possible. Then you know what you are dealing with and you can decide what to do about it.
Rather than knowing about it years and years later and getting stuck with something you don’t have to deal with.
The best thing is to be as real as possible.
Just being your truest authentic self.
That’s what’s best. I guess.